


Kitchen Sink

by StrayMutt



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, Angst, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2680955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrayMutt/pseuds/StrayMutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray made a fatal mistake and now has to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kitchen Sink

**Author's Note:**

> (Update November 2015: i really wanna redo this fic but im also v lazy so maybe keep an eye out for an updated version ill of course leave the original up)
> 
> This fic was inspired after listening to Kitchen Sink by Twenty One Pilots on repeat. I highly recommend listing to the song first because the fic kind of follows the rhythm of it?? I don’t know. I don’t even know if this story even makes sense. I just needed to get it out of my head.

The tap of the rain gently hitting the windows was the only other sound heard in the apartment, a part from his increased heartbeat, breath, and racing thoughts. He was laying on the couch, prone, looking up at the blank ceiling. It all felt like a dream. No, a _nightmare_. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real because he would never let this happen. He would have never made that mistake. They had set backs, but they didn’t have  _mistakes._ They didn’t have _fatal mistakes_. They joked about it, they dreamt about it, but they would never let it happen. They were invincible,  _immortal._

Ray sat up on the couch and sat there for a moment, his breath hitched in his throat. He covered his mouth with a shaky hand and closed this eyes. This was another dream. And like always he would wake up because he would never make this mistake. He was supposed to protect from afar and he was great at it, _perfect at it_. Ray stood and walked over to Ryan’s bedroom door, his footsteps soundless. There was no way he could go into the room. He stopped in the doorway as if some invisible force kept him there. He wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers that were stained with the smell of Ryan and lay there until the end of time. But he couldn’t do that. Ray’s heart ached just looking at the bed he and Ryan used to roll around in the night before a heist, _just like they had before this heist._

When the pain in his chest grew unbearable, Ray quickly turned away and walked back into the living room, opening the balcony doors and taking a step into the rain. The skies were gray and bleak and there were no cars to be found anywhere. Ray placed his hands on the railing and looked down onto the ground. He could jump. He could jump and end everything and then nothing would hurt like it does now. His knuckles turned white and his hands begin to throb as he gripped the bars tightly. Ray couldn’t figure out if he was shivering because of the chilly rain or because of the state of shock he was in.

And then the nausea hit him. Hard. Running back inside the apartment and into the kitchen, Ray spilled the contents of his empty stomach in the sink. He let out a staggered breath, leaning against the countertop, his head in his arms. He stood there listening to his labored breath as he looked down into the mess is left. This felt like shit. This felt like his body was trying anything possible to kill itself. He ached everywhere. He felt like he was ten times heavier. He felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.

Ray dipped his head back down into the sink as he dry heaved, the memory of the intense smell of blood hit him. _Ryan's blood_. Ray managed to throw up once more into the kitchen skin before he was able to turn on the faucet and rinse his mouth out. Sweat formed at his brow line and he removed his glasses to wipe his face. He knew he needed to get a hold of himself but he just couldn’t. This was insane.

Books filled the shelves on the wall and Ray had no doubt in his mind that Ryan had read every single one of them. Ryan was extremely educated. Ray on the other hand had no interest in reading. He had the encyclopedia of Ryan and if he had a questions about anything Ryan always had an answer. The Puerto Rican walked over to the shelves and with numb fingers picked out a random book. As he went to open the book, the lack of pressure on the pages caused the treasures kept inside to slip out and onto the floor. They were photos and Ray quickly crouched down to look through them. All the photos were of him. In most of the photos Ray looked like he was preoccupied doing something else. Ryan must have snuck shots of him when he wasn’t looking. A breath was caught in Ray’s throat as tears welled up in his eyes. He covered his mouth again to try and stop himself from crying.

A sudden knock on the apartment door briefly distracted him. Ray didn’t know how long he’s been in Ryan’s apartment. He doesn’t remember talking to any of the crew either. They must be trying to check up on him. He turned to sit on the floor, his back against the wall.

“Go away.”

His own voice sounded foreign. It was almost as if he was disturbing how silent the apartment had been. Knocking came through the door again and Ray gritted teeth.

“I said go away! Leave me alone!” he yelled, his voice cracking into a sob. He dropped his hands into his lap and had no strength to stop the fit of crying that came to him.

Once the tears start he couldn’t stop them. He rubbed his eyes so hard that he could see stars. With his head hung low, Ray sat there with his eyes closed. Immediately his mind recalled the memory of looking down the scope of his sniper rifle. Like always, he was protecting from afar. They had been paired into groups and Ryan was fighting his way on the ground below. Everything was fine. Everything was going smoothly. The heist was almost over and all they had to do was wait for their ride. An unplanned explosion behind him caused Ray to turn around and at the same moment it must have caused Ryan to do the same thing. All Ray could hear through his ear piece was Ryan beginning to ask if everyone was okay before his sentence was cut off. Ray’s heart stopped. He whipped around and saw Ryan’s body stagger before three more bullets made their way into his chest cavity

_Why did I look away? Why did I look away? I had one job. One job and **I fucking looked away. I just got Ryan killed. This is my fault. Ryan is dead because of me. And it's all because I fucking looked away.**_

Ryan’s body dropped and Ray threw his rifle to the ground. This couldn’t be happening. This was a nightmare. He needed to stick to the plan but his emotions caused him to snap and now he was running out of cover with only a pistol just to see if his mind was playing a trick on him. Someone was yelling in his ear piece, asking for a status update and Ray doesn’t even remember ever responding. He remembers seeing police dropping dead on the ground, either from his own gun or maybe someone else was around realizing something had gone terribly wrong. When Ray made his way to Ryan, he laid in a pool of his own blood and the smell was intense. Ray had seen this scenario before, but this was different. He had an emotional connection to the dead man on the ground. He had given his heart to this man and they both swore to protect each other and Ray had _failed him_. There was no pulse, no breath, and the life in Ryan’s eyes were gone.

_This is my fault. This is my fault._

Ray thought over, and over, and over, until it was his personal mantra. He opened his eyes and he was back in Ryan’s apartment. Back in the empty apartment where all he could hear were his thoughts, his breath, and the rain outside. He felt emotionally drained and it was like his soul was completely detached from his body.

This is what they signed up for. Not just him and Ryan but the entire crew. They all signed up for the chance to win at a momentary sin, day after day. To pretend that we were the best out there and that nothing could never stop them. That they would all just continue doing this until they were either too old or too broken to continue on and by that point they would be rich enough that they wouldn’t care.

And the way Ray envisioned the end was nothing like this. He envisioned the end of their criminal career to at least be able to kiss and share the same breath as Ryan. To run his fingers over Ryan’s scars and to reminisce about their adventurous lifestyle. And Ray knew that he was lying to himself and that this could never be but he didn’t think he would have to deal with the honest facts of this life style so soon. The whole crew was a group of gambling men. Every day they gambled with their lives and the lives of their friends. And every day it was all or nothing.

Ray began to shake as he wrapped his arms around himself. He was so cold, his body completely numb, and his heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces. How was he supposed to continue on like this? He felt completely worthless.

There was a knock the door again. Ray didn’t even bother to look up. He buried his face in his hands.

“Go away, leave me alone.” He called out. His voice trembled. He sounded weak. No, he was weak. He was a broken man.

The knocking continued, this time more forceful, determined. Ray got up, his face twisted in a scowl. He made his way over to the door.

“Leave me alone!” he yelled, swinging the door open. The sight before him made him freeze dead in his tracks, his heart stood still for a moment.

There Ryan stood, all six foot of him. He wasn’t in his mask and his clothes weren’t riddled with bullet holes and blood. He smiled gentle at Ray and held open his arms.

Ray bit his lip and tears poured from his eyes.

“D- Don’t leave me alone.” Ray wailed, his voice cracking. He grabbed onto Ryan’s arms and pulled himself into the man’s chest, feeling the warmth flood back into his once cold body. Ray couldn’t be any happier to feel Ryan’s arms wrap around his smaller frame. He couldn’t believe this. If this was a dream he didn’t want to wake up. His tears fell onto Ryan’s shirt and when Ryan pulled Ray back to look at his face Ray couldn’t control his gross sobbing. Ryan let out a chuckle and kissed the side of his face.

“I’m here,” Ryan murmured, pressing his forehead against Ray’s. “I’m here, I’m not going to leave you alone.”

Ray used the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe the tears from his eyes and grabbed a hold of Ryan’s face only to press his lips against his boyfriend’s. This was real. Ryan was here with him and Ray couldn’t get enough of feeling Ryan’s body against his.

“I thought you were gone forever.” Ray whispered, his breathing erratic as he tried to calm himself down. Ryan took a hold of his hand and planted a kiss in the palm.

“I’m here but I need you to come with me. We have to go.” Ryan said, pulling Ray out of the apartment, “Just follow me, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Just… just don’t let go.”

…

The rain continued to fall outside. The skies were still gray and bleak. The explosive sound of gunfire had echoed off and in the middle of the street there was a mess of bullets and carnage. Two bodies in particular lay on the ground next to each other: one of a tall man in a skull mask and the other a man with a slim build. Though they were next to each other, the slim man had fallen to gunfire with this hand stretched out as if he was trying to reach for his fallen comrade. It looked to be that he was able to grab a hold of his partner’s hand before life left his body.

There was the faint sound of yelling that came from both of their earpieces, the voice demanding for a status update, which only fell onto deaf ears. There was no one there to respond back.


End file.
